Love Languages

Love Languages

Acts of Service

Follow the ‘Platinum Rule’ for acts of service and do what the other partner would like. The secret to this love language is to do the acts of service with a positive attitude and initiate the offer, instead of waiting it to be demanded or when it is required. Moreover, it is also important to note that if the acts of service that the partner does is perceived by the other to be their equal share of tasks, that might not serve as showing love.

Physical Touch

The mentality of ‘Physical touch’ is to convey to the other partner the feeling of relaxation, security, happiness, delight and dependency, which may include hugging, handholding, kissing, touching and sex. The important thing to note is touch does not always have to lead to sex, otherwise it might be perceived by the other partner as the initiator desiring something from them (e.g. sex) and not be perceived as a love language.


The art of this love language is to conduct prior research and find out what the partner likes. Keep in mind that how expensive the gift is does not always reflect the effect that it may produce to show love. For instance, if one partner is very saving, they might not perceive an expensive gift as showing love and may even create conflict.

Words of Affirmation

The mentality of ‘Words of Affirmation’ is to show appreciation and acknowledge the positive qualities and/or actions of the other partner and may include saying thank you, praises, compliments and encouraging statements. The secret to this love language is to be sincere and conduct it in a warm and kind tone. This may be conducted in both a private and a public situation with others present to further increase the effectiveness of this love language.

Quality Time

Couples’ quality time in general takes two different forms: engaging in activities together in a physical sense or having a conversation. The main goal here is to create a feeling that during the quality time, the partners are devoted to each other and giving each other undivided attention. This is also a subtle way of conveying the message that they are putting each other as the first priority.

Mediator’s Strategies: If issues with love language are raised by the clients, assist the clients with a way forward to openly communicate what their love language is and how they would like the other to show affection and/or love.

Other considerations: Education: Does the client know what are love languages and how to synchronise their love language? (Reminder: The role of the mediator is to empower and not offer solutions, unless in special exceptional circumstances where the progress of the mediation is at a standstill for a prolonged period.)